This one’s for all the Romney supporters, is how we do.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSE ONLY

Just like Highlander, there can only be one prom king. We got the rich, preppy who drives to school every day in a Porsche. Then we got the chess nerd that discovered being cool gets him poontang. It’s an age-old battle for bragging rights, nothing more. So with that as the main motive, we can figure out each candidate’s uniqueness, their motive, and the strategy they plan on using to get their street cred.

Barry Obama will try to sell Rice Krispies treats, muffins, and cookies with the help of his feminist white girl friends. He will try to appeal to hipsters with iPhones, those that seemingly wear thick-rimmed plastic glasses, wool scarves, and striped leggings. Barry also has a massive following by the gays who think he’s mighty sexy and possibly in the closet. Then there are the potheads who think that a black leader will score them more pot or make it legal.

Mitt Romney will throw an exclusive underage toga kegger party asking for donations or charging a cover fee. His supporters are uptight fake blonde airhead princesses with breast implants she got for her birthday from Daddy. There are also jocky, letterman jacket-wearing princes who possibly cover-up a dead girlfriend’s murder every week with the help his circle of friends. There are also those school officials who have nepotistic interests too. Maybe one of them is Romney’s overbearing mother, the director of the school play of “The Music Man”, who casts her son in the lead even though he can’t sing or dance. And his father, the head of the local moose lodge, who gives scholarships out to his son because he has such good, good average grades over the poor kid that actually aced it. And lots of other business investors who are doing business with Daddy.

So the prom’s coming up. Barry and Mitt are both planning on going, getting their groove on. Mitt’s definitely getting laid on prom night, he could have ANY virginal girl he wants, that’s just the way the society has been set up. Barry, not so sure. He wanted to take the white girl, but after Mitt came into brighter popularity, she dropped him like a penny in the street. So Barry’s a little bitter. But shortly before prom night, he meets a sweet honey and turns out they are incredibly compatible and go all the way. Now these two boys are men.

During the prom dance, some hip black music starts playing. Mitt has some awkward moves and looks like a constipated baby in a diaper. Barry, on the other hand, has his innate black rhythm blood that gets flowing throughout his body and moves like Jello, hitting up the dance floor with his Michael Jackson moonwalk and The Dougie. The girls are screaming in ecstacy. Pretty soon, the whole thing is straight out of Footloose but without Kevin Bacon or Teen Wolf in sight.

Then it’s time to announce the prom king and queen. And to cut to the chase, the pompous white girl with the glitter on her face draws from a foofy bag a piece of paper with “Barry 4 King” on it. Sure enough, Barry struts onto stage and gets crowned prom king.

But the story’s just begun.

Hiding behind the stage is a group of Mitt’s rag-tag group of pranksters. They’ve rigged a bucket of red paint to fall on the newly crowned prom king. So they pull the ripcord and SPLOTCH, Barry’s covered in red paint. He watches from the stage humiliated as all the prom attendees start pointing and laughing. Barry tries to cover his face with the king’s scepter, but it has a mirror on it and he sees himself covered in communist red. Barry storms off the stage covered in tears.

Behind the stage, Mitt and prankster buddies are having a good snigger. At this point, if you’ve ever seen Stephen King’s Carrie, then you might be able to predict what happens next. But because the context is slightly changed, we get the options of branching in multiple directions.

Since Barry is a black man…

A) Nuggah went to get a gun from his locker. He gone shoot em up.
B) Nuggah went to get his homies. Gone do a drive by at Mitt’s house later that night.
C) Nuggah’s gone get his psychokinetic rage on them all.
D) Nuggah went to smoke some reefer with the black band to mellow out
E) Nuggah’s already backstage humping some horny white girl who’s later going to accuse him of rape when she carries his lovechild

So, it can play out in a matter of ways because the story has changed since the 1950s.

Mitt Romney and Barack Obama could have a knife fight surrounded by their peers in the back of the playground. Romney and the soc’s don’t like Barry and his greasers. In the traditional story, Romney would stick Barry in the gut killing him. Then Romney would go on the run with the help of his buddies. They’d have a gay ol’ rag-tag fun time. Meanwhile, Daddy covers it up. Says the coon got stuck like a pig because he tried to rob his champion athlete son and was only defending himself. Daddy is also sheriff. As long as they’re drawing blood, Barry also raped countless white girls and dirtied their pure wombs infecting them with swirl demon babies.

So Mitt gets a happy ending, and the girl, and the two of them sing and dance their way to a flashy sports car. They jump in and ride that thing into the sky.

The End.

Later in the news, blacks have rioted in the streets causing major damage to buildings and select random white truck drivers.